If you recently, due to a change in your life, feel like you don’t belong to a particular stage, whether at work, school, or business, you may suffer from ‘impostor syndrome’.
Let’s first see what impostor syndrome is. According to the Oxford Dictionary, is the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills. So, in other words, if you have been promoted to a new position in your company, or awarded a title that you didn’t expect, your mind may struggle to understand why these people decided to show their appreciation towards you.
Why would you feel like that in the first place? I mean it is a symbol of appreciation at the end of the day, so why do you feel like that? I believe you may fit into one of these categories:
1. Low self-esteem – you lack confidence about who you are and what you can do. You often feel incompetent, unloved, or inadequate. You are consistently afraid of making mistakes or letting other people down, so you try to compensate with your hard work, but nothing seems to satisfy you. People around you, on the other hand, have other points of view, they ‘judge’ your actions and dedication from different perspectives and believe that you deserve more.
2. You are a perfectionist – whether is because of your background or your high aspirations, no matter what you do or how well you do, it feels like it’s ‘not perfect’ and there is room for improvement. Unfortunately, your mind focuses on the negative more than on the positive. So, if your work is 99% perfect, your mind will find that 1% imperfect and discourage you from not doing your best.
3. You are a ‘people-pleaser’ – always on the lookout to avoid upsetting other people, trying to learn each one’s quirkiness and find ways to do them to like you. Flash news! People change all the time, they have moods and what pleases them today tomorrow may be old news, and for you, it’s a never-ending search that gives you that feeling of unworthiness of their attention. It’s stressful and exhausting.
There may be more categories, and if you want to share them, please do so in the comments, but from what I experienced so far, these are the ones that make the most impact. But it doesn’t matter which category you find yourself in, because your constant self-doubt leads to undervaluing your contributions. You believe your success was not generated by your actions but was due to some external factors. You keep on sabotaging your success by setting unrealistic expectations and live in a constant fear of not being able to live up to them until you burn out completely.
Here is what I think: If you feel like an impostor, you are genuinely an amazing person. You’re always doing your best and then some, you care about other people and you bring a huge contribution to the society you live in. You are selfless, hard-working, loving, and caring. You want what’s best for those around you and act like an altruist. An actual impostor wouldn’t feel like that. They have set their eyes on the prize and did all they had to do to achieve it, regardless of the consequences and the people around them.
You are the creator of Your Own Universe! All that happens in your life has been triggered by your thoughts, feelings, and actions in the past. Whatever has come to you is no coincidence. Learn to embrace it because it is the result of your worthiness. Learn to appreciate it because this way you set yourself up for more. As part of your growth process, you’re in a constant transformation and as you keep on growing you’re going through different stages that feel new and strange and make you feel like you don’t belong. It is only our mind that feels uncomfortable until it does. Keep up the good work. You are awesome!
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